Showing posts from August, 2014

I'm Not the Only Infertile You Know

Two years ago, when I first grappled with the clinical infertility diagnosis, I felt alone. I intellectually knew that 1 in 8 couples struggled with fertility, but I didn't know anyone else who ever had. I felt like the only person God had abandoned, while everyone around me was raising beautiful families.

Boy, was I wrong.

First, I met a bunch of remarkable women online who are in various stages of dealing with infertility. Together, we support once another and help each other see the hope that is still possible and deal with the grief that is sometimes an inevitable part of this process. These are some of the most extraordinary women I will likely never meet in person and I have come to think of them as dear friends. We have grown close over time and take care of our own. You really don't want to mess with a pack of infertiles.

Many of you may believe I am one of the only infertiles you know, the only one you've ever met. When the topic co…

The Infertile's Guide to the Cost of Building a Family


A Decade Wiser

I am taking a break from the topic of infertility to focus on something that is incredibly important to me-- my husband. Sometimes I get so caught up in life and the struggle we face and I forget what an extraordinary man I chose to make my life with. So today, forgive me while I gush about our marriage for a bit.

Today is my tenth wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe Jeremy and I have been married for a decade. Simultaneously, it seems like an instant and a lifetime. I can distinctly remember the way he looked standing in front of the church and the way he had tears in his eyes when we exchanged vows. But, the fact that so many faces who were with us that day are no longer here shows just how much time has passed.

On the day I got married, I was 23 years old. At the time, I didn't think that was young. It didn't feel that young to me. I had been, more or less, on my own for five years and had been a productive member of the adult, tax paying world for just as long. …

The Wisdom of Tom Petty

As many of you already know, I met with my new Reproductive Endocrinologist for the first time. I won't lie; after the experience I had with Dr. M, I was completely nervous. I was already looking into other clinics and entertaining the idea of just giving up entirely, but, my meeting with Dr. D was fantastic.

I'm not looking for promises of a baby. That's insane because no one can make that promise authentically. In truth, I wasn't even sure what I was looking for in a doctor any more. You see, in the 2 years I have been pursuing fertility treatments, and the years previous where I thought it would happen in its own time, I have conceded my hope. Hope simply didn't reside here anymore. It hurts too much to invest your spirit into every failed month. If you choose to hope each month that the new treatment worked, then the heartbreak of failure chips away at your soul a little bit more. If you've never hoped for something for half a decade and had nothing to show…