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Showing posts from February, 2015

Dear Infertility

Dear Infertility,

I hate you. My mother taught me that hate is a strong word, but in this case, it is completely appropriate and totally justified. I'm not one of those ladies who is writing a love letter to you, telling you how you have taught her how strong and smart she is. I'm not writing a thank you letter either, since I'm not thankful for you at all.

Infertility, you are cruel. You are a huge part of my life that virtually no one understands. The taboos that persist around you mean people don't see why infertility is something that affects every part of my life.  People don't think you are an illness, a disease. No, because of the silence that accompanies you, people still believe you are a choice.

In fact, you have done such a stellar job of being a quiet monster that people believe you aren't truly real. They think if I "stop trying" you will be defeated. They really think if I "just adopt" you will go away. They offer up the wisdo…

Tales from the Needle-Phobe Infertile

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Let me tell you a story about a six year old little girl, all decked out in a pink, ruffled dress and matching socks. Her hair was carefully styled in adorable curls and her patent leather shoes couldn't shine more. Her mom dressed her up because she had a doctor's appointment. There were no dirty knees or messy ponytails that day. Her mom made sure she was ready to get her vaccination so she could start kindergarten in the fall. The rule-following, people-pleasing little girl got into the car and went to the doctor's office as her mother told her to do.

I'm not sure why her mother chose that dress, but I know she was grateful she put the ruffled bloomers on her daughter before leaving the house. When the nurse came into the room with the needle for the vaccination, that delightful little girl who prided herself on doing the things she was supposed to, turned into some kind of primitive beast who howled and crawled under the table in the room. It took two adults to ge…