Showing posts from November, 2013

I hope you never really understand

I started this blog back in April asking for love, support and friendship. Along the way, I have tried to break down some of the infertility myths and educate people on what is and is not true about infertility. Back in April, I thought I wanted people to understand what Jeremy and I are going through. Our story is not unique-millions of folks are going through the exact same things right now- but our story is ours and the only one I can tell. I thought sharing our journey would open a door into what infertility feels like, while giving me a place to put my feelings on "paper". But, what I have realized is that unless you are going through it, the best I will ever do is pull back the curtains on the window of infertility. I can show you a glimpse of this world but, in truth, unless you endure it, you will never understand it. 
Some people believe infertility can be compared to the grief one feels when losing a loved one. Others would say there is no way it feels like that. I…

Thirteen, Halloween and Other Ominous Signs

Last month, Jeremy and I took some time off from ultrasounds and IUIs. Dr. S did do some blood work to confirm my ovulation and my levels were good. Actually, they were great. However, once again, we are not pregnant.

This month, we are staring down medicated cycle #13. We have been doing medicated cycles for more than one year. I never imagined I would still be here, in this infertility purgatory, holding pattern when we started this process. But, here we are.

Cycle number thirteen sounds ominous, right? We had confirmation of the failed cycle twelve on Halloween, a spooky day in its own right (and, coincidentally, my favorite holiday, since I'm an October baby myself.) But, the eerie connections go further. I am scheduled for an ultrasound on Day 13, November 13. Thank goodness the office only schedules ultrasounds in the morning, or I know it would have been at 1:00 (or 13:00 military time). I just can't escape the bad luck number running through this month.

All this talk o…