Debating with Myself

A week or two ago, I began composing my "infertility coming out" post. I have written, re-written, revised and edited (if you were ever my English student, you will know all of these are distinct processes) the post ad nauseum. When I finally had an "acceptable" draft, I shared it with my husband and my sister. They both agreed it was fine. So, why am I back and forth on whether or not to share this?

If I had a "real" disease (society's definition, not mine) then I wouldn't hesitate to advocate for a cause close to my heart. I still advocate for cancer research and treatment, specifically so no one else will have to lose their mother to cancer. Why, then, is this such a hard decision.

I was a college debater and was decent at it in my heyday. So, it's tough for me when I debate myself. I want people to be aware of the difficulty and heartbreak of infertility, but I don't want people to think I am self-aggrandizing. It's a double edged sword.

After much discussion with my sister, I think I have decided to share the post this Sunday, as part of National Infertility Awareness week. I know I'll likely get mixed reactions, if anyone reads it at all. But, that goes with the territory. Some people will be genuinely empathetic (most people, I imagine) but for some the post will be like a car wreck. They'll keep reading because they can't look away. Either way, it's ok... as long as it educates one person, it will be worth it.

Comments

  1. I saw your link to your blog in your signature, and had to come read it. This is *exactly* what I'm dealing with right now. I have told few people about my struggle. It's awkward to bring up infertility to those who haven't gone through it. I especially like your paragraph about "real disease."

    Every single time I "like" or share something about infertility on facebook, it is a major decision and I feel butterflies in my stomach when I press share. The weird thing is, I usually get comments and likes on every other thing I post, except the infertility related ones. I feel like everyone turns their heads because of the discomfort of it all. Which, makes me feel even more islolated.

    I like your blog.
    ~Kristy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words. I really do appreciate it.

      I was actually terrified of "coming out" about infertility on Facebook, but I have been amazed at the love and support I have received from friends and family. It's true that some of the folks who generally "like" or comment on my statuses have stayed away from commenting on my infertility post, but I finally decided if people have a problem dealing with my fertility treatments and my advocacy for infertility, then they have an issue with me. Life is messy, so why should this be any different. I'm a teacher, so I believe in education for the masses. I feel like so many people are misinformed about infertility, so I feel like maybe my little blog could at least advocate with my friends and family.
      I've written a novel here, but I wanted to sincerely thank you for sharing with me. My best to you on this unwanted journey.

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