Stupd jokes are stuipd, and so are birthdays

Ok... Guest blog Time.... It's Jeremy again!!!! (no need to hold your applause, and thanks to everyone who has given me birthday wishes...)

Birthdays are a rough time for me. In my younger years, since my birthday's in the summer, it wasn't a time of big celebration (no school party, lots of kids on vacation if my parents threw one, etc..). In my adult years, it just became a time for reflection. The good news is that I am in a much better place than I was this time last year. I have more people I can call friends, a much better and stable work situation, and we have bought our home. The problem is that now I look back on our 8 month journey (so far) in infertility and in many ways we're still no closer to success than when we started. We start other procedures next month which has made me feel like this months' attempt at “medically assisted natural conception” (my term, sounds professional) is more than futile. It has taken something that is supposed to be a natural, bonding, romantic, fun, special part of our relationship and turned it into more of a bank transaction (Drive up, deposit, leave...). The word “prefunctory” has been used over the past few months. Being my birthday, this all hits me just the wrong way. If you know me, know that I really need support on my birthday and will do everything I can to avoid it (so I apologize to those I have not responded to...).

Now that was yesterday, this is today. I have been at a workshop for math teachers over the past 2 weeks (finally ends tomorrow.... overall good workshop just LOOOONNNNGGGG....). The first day the presenters made a comment on their Powerpoint that said … “What to expect when you're expecting..... professional development.” This irritated me, but I let it slide after a few minutes because people are infertility ignorant. I mean, if only 10-15% of the population is affected, no big deal, right?

Then today, on day 7 of the training, it comes back again... “What to expect when you're expecting... expected value.” Yes, I have a sophomoric sense of humor and can appreciate the pun. But now this is the 2nd time I've seen it (and the presenters have used it in side conversations thinking that they are humorous when other people were complaining about their teenage sons/daughters), and I feel I need to say something. I have written it on my “post-it” note on the“parking lot” for questions, comments, and concerns as I was supposed to (and not disrupt what we are supposed to be doing... although I am writing my blog entry in the middle of the workshop... I feel like one of my students.... I digress) and I likely will speak with one of them after the workshop is over (either today ortomorrow).

TL;DR 2 points to make: First, for those who know me, I need a lot of help and distraction during my birthday to get me out of my head. Second, if you're thinking about making a joke about pregnancy/infertility or if you are angry at your students, there's about a 1/8 probability (middle of 10-15%) that someone you're talking to is struggling to have a child, and you're going to inhale your foot all the way up to you hip. So don't.... blow it.


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