Ice Storms, Seventh Graders and Other Forces of Nature

It's been over a month since my last blog post, so the people pleaser in me thinks I should apologize. But I won't.

You see, the last month has been a crazy whirlwind in the Wilson household. Old Man Winter stalked me from West Virginia all the way back to North Carolina. We've had a history-making winter in the worst possible way. We have experienced several systems that dropped significant (in North Carolina, we measure "significant" differently than the Northerners. Give us a break.... the North Carolinians don't even know what cinders are and they only have a handful of trucks to spread the brine or sand.) In short, there were many days when it was honestly too bad to send buses full of students out on the roads. When the big ice storm hit, Jeremy and I were lucky that all we had to do was clean up a couple tons of wood from our yard. We had no damage to the house and our electricity never went out. Our cable went out for several days, we procured and learned to use a reciprocating saw and both Jeremy and I wore blisters on our previously uncalloused hands. Our next door neighbor was a life saver with his chain saw, helping us quickly cut the largest parts of the fallen tress.  But, despite the crazy weather we both survived nonetheless--- probably stronger for having gone through the experience and learning we could manage it all on our own.

Old Man Winter has punished us mightily in a land where a single 3 inch snowfall in a year is remarkable. We have missed more school than we can make up with the calendar days, so we are going to school on several Saturdays. the state legislature excused 4 days for students, since we were under a state of emergency, with no power and/or water in schools for 4 days. However, they say that if teachers want to get paid, we have to make up all of the days. Today was our first Saturday School and I was shocked that I actually saw so many of my students on a 70 degree day in March. I have my fingers crossed that perhaps winter will give up and March can quietly bow out like the docile lamb we all wish for. We saw enough of the lion during the last couple of rounds.

About one month ago, I left the shackles of a test writing job to "return" to the classroom. But, this time I'm not in high school. I'm in seventh grade. Like Dorothy said to Toto, we're definitely not in Kansas anymore. :)

Teaching seventh grade is an adventure. Every. single. day. I love the innocence and wonder so many of my students still possess. However, I am working on the maturity and responsibility parts. Don't get me wrong... I LOVE my students. They challenge me in ways I never imagined- not so much because I don't know what I'm teaching, but instead because I never know what they might say or do. Even more than teaching in high school, these kids keep me on my toes. There's never a dull day.... and I love it.

As I promised in my last blog post, I've definitely been working on me. I've created a space in my classroom that feels homey for both me and my students. I have reached out and connected with people-- and sometimes reconnected with old friends. I joined a gym back in January.... and I'm still going. 25+ pounds later, I'm still at it and I plan to keep going to see what I can do for myself. (I promise I will not start posting selfies and making random weight loss announcements on here and FB).

I've been talking with Dr. S, but Jeremy and I have decided to delay seeing a new reproductive endocrinologist until sometime in the summer. We have a million things on our plate for the next few months, so we're just talking some time for us.  Dr. S found a private practice not too far away that he has heard good things about. He thinks this might be what I am looking for, but he vows to help me find the doctor I need... no matter how many I have to try out. He and I (and Jeremy... can't forget Jeremy) agree that I am not going back to Clomid ever again. We also agree that going back to Dr. M is out of the question. He wasn't aggressive enough when dealing with my issues, so I know even though I advocated for myself at UNC, I will advocate more strongly with the next doc.  But, I'll wait and see what the new guy says before I get excited about anything.

We're also starting to talk about next steps.... be it more high tech interventions for conception or the road to adoption... or possibly setting it all aside and finding happiness without children. I think we will be ready to talk about all the options when we make the appointment this summer. But, for now, it's nice to have a little time where I'm not constantly talking hormones and wondering what if. It's nice just to be us for a while.

So, I've learned that sometimes, the forces of nature are just too great. When Old Man Winter has you on his hit list, you just have to stand back and accept it. When you are surrounded by 30 12-13 year olds, sometimes you just have to go where the tide take you. I guess I have learned that, like ice storms and seventh graders, infertility can't be rushed or conquered lightly. Sometimes it's a waiting game. Like anxiously waiting for the first class to arrive, or for the authorities make the icy streets navigable, it's an uneasy feeling. But, eventually you learn there is nothing you can do except wait it out.


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